This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

While returning home from their last mission, our heroes get a mayday call! Squidpi babies are zooming around in space looking for things to blow up! They’re just cruising around, staring then blinking their big red eyes and BOOM! Luckily, it’s usually asteroids. Even so, this doesn’t seem to make the Planet Harvesters very happy.

Break immediately consults the on-board research computer to figure out who these Squidpi kids could be and what their species is like.

OOOooooo! I wanna do that! Break tells Shadow Man they communicate via changing their eye color pixels. Shadow Man starts working on a communication interface to at the very least to ask they not blow up our ship.

Shadow Man modifies the bits and pieces of who-knows-what that’s been floating around the ship. Using the multicolored crystals gifted to the Squad from the Crittermen, Shadow Man creates a color telegraph, or “Hue-a-graph”.

While Shadow Man scavenged for pieces and parts, Zetaman was busy altering the helm controls. He calculated that if he’s able to extend the shield-nets to minimize the shock wave when they deflect the Squidpi’s attempts to make our heroes all ‘splodey. Once caught, the shield-nets would also serve as a sort of “time out.”

Break then connects the Hue-a-graph to the ships head lights and the zebra-lever, while cursing Zetaman’s not so smooth flying. A drunken spork difibulls flies better than this!

Zetaman records the only phrase research suggested might work. Asparagus soup. Asparagus soup. With this broadcasting on a loop, they were sure to get the Squidpi’s attention.

Rubbing their 13 tentacles together, their green nose hairs vibrate with anticipation of their favorite treat. They pinpoint the announcement and head straight for it. Once they enter range, the shield-nets are triggered and….. Woohoo! They worked!

Shadow Man checks through the vizo-meter and confirms their youngling status. Purple, grainy skin? Check.  Rhombus halos? Check.

Shadow Man then places a hue-a-graph call, notifying the Squidpi Embassy with the coordinates. 13 reinforcements are dispatched to retrieve the hissy fit throwing youngin’s, who somehow managed to navigate 4-star jumps away from their home planet.

Zetaman calls the Planet Harvesters with an update. Extremely grateful, they donated the asparagus harvested from asteroid gamma for our heroes to transform in to a placating treat for the troublemakers until their nannies arrive. While the shield-nets can withstand their blasts, they do have their limits. Being blown to bits didn’t sound like any fun; so, bribery it is.

Guest hero, Kizmet, transforms to air and heads out to gather the crops at a rate faster than Captain Wonderful!

Break assembles a doo-dad the nets stored from the Squidpi’s tantrum blasts. Shadow Man takes a pod to gather water. Soup is made, and distributed by Kizmet in her Earth form at high-speed to prevent any further chances of kiddy chaos.

Not too long after, the Brat Brigade, led by Nanny Spankington, transports the children to Detention Care.

As our crew sighs in relief, the snoring from the ships hide-a-bunk suddenly stops. Leo yawns. Are we there yet? Wait, what’d I miss?


One response to “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

  1. Pingback: This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things! | Discovering Empowerment Through Creativity

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