Catpire Crisis

Our heroes received a call from Vladicon V’s magistrate, who is all kinds of panic! Catpires are taking over the skies and shattering cities using all they can find as scratching posts, buildings, streets, furniture, and everything else they can sink their claws in to. Deserts are becoming litter boxes. The air is heavy with the high pitched hissing, which is much too much for the native vampires to bear.

Can our heroes keep these powerful catpires from further over-breeding? Can they prevent Vladicon V from being clawed apart?

Catpire LOLCat

Before heading out in what could possibly be a misguided attempt to befriend all things furry, Break delves in to the Squad’s research library to create a comprehensive list of supplies on hand that may prove useful.

Zetaman double checks that the solar scalpels are fully charged and packs as many as he can find, while Shadow Man gets to work sharpening stakes, hammering together crosses, and loading up a case of squirt bottles, and bark simulator, and cat nip.

Upon the Squad’s arrival, the catpires become extra excited at the sight of a new play toy and begin, what feels to our heroes like, a forever long match of scrappy kickball.
Shadow Man grabs the bark simulator as it begins to slide past him. Once he hits “play” the catpires are frightened and decide their new toy isn’t so cool after all then fly away from the rocket.
The now very dizzy and slightly motion sick Squad grab their catnip guns, don litter protection masks, and head out. They unload the tranquilizer laced catnip in the center of motion sensor activated waterfalls. The cats came swooping in for their treat and were captured in an instant water cage.

Who said herding cats was hard?

After only a short while, the catpires curled up and fell fast asleep. Joined by a local veterinarian, our Squad quickly grabbed their solar powered scalpels and makes fast work of spaying and neutering them all before they can wake.

Break headed back to the ship to issue an APB advising all of the planet’s natives to keep safe by installing sprinkler systems wherever possible. This will help keep the catpires at bay, preventing them from further destroying the cities. Not wanting their claw-care to be neglected, the locals set up warehouses for continually creating very tall cardboard tower scratching posts.

Zetaman issues a strongly worded PSA outlining the benefits of a Catpire Spay and Neuter Program, stressing that all Vladicon V’s natives share responsibility of maintaining a population size that allows for optimal coexistence among all of their species.

Twenty Vladicon V years and 2 Earth weeks later, our heroes are notified that the catpire population has dwindled to a reasonable sized population. The vampires have also monitored their numbers, allowing for optimal increase of Vladicon V’s overall happiness quotient and balanced use of natural resources.


One response to “Catpire Crisis

  1. Pingback: Catpire Crisis! | Discovering Empowerment Through Creativity

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